Thursday, September 29, 2005
Why is parting such sweet sorrow?
As Ella Fitzgerald sang, every time we say goodbye, we die a little. This is, of course, better than dying altogether, which may explain why there is sweetness even in sorrow. Juliet's lament about her separation from her very new acquaintance was enhanced by the thought that it would be temporary: that she would see Romeo again. In song and story, life goes on, even if something is missing.
Real life, however, offers no such certainties. In a here-today, gone-tomorrow world, there is a certain satisfaction in having existed at all. The exuberant joy of being is tempered by the wistful knowledge that nothing is forever. The Romans had a phrase for it: ave atque vale, hail and farewell. Psychological literature is rich in studies of separation anxiety, grief and loss. There is a denial phase to grief in which the bereaved believe that the lost one will come back. Then after a while, this denial gives way to anger, fear, guilt and depression. Loss of energy, fatigue, headaches and chest pains may occur before the inevitable adjustment.
Parting, neuropsychologists say, is a stretching of emotional bonds: the sorrow is tinged with the sweetness of the memories.So wrote Tim Radford on the Gaurdian's blog.
Today AN, TT and me three of us went and supped at Sharvana Bhawan, sarvana is how I say it and the memories came flooding by. Torrent of memories blanked away,,, the beach , salty air, mallippoo (jasmine) fragrance, friendships formed for life...., the giant waves, starry nights jarred with blaring songs, peanuts and tumblers of sugary sweet coffee,,, roaring waves, the air pervaded with the smell of fish, obnoxious yes but not if you ventured further, teh grains of sand brushing against your feet and the waves gliding up to kiss them, sometimes hiting on a rare shell , the horses and most of all samll children who ran with the wind.
Where are you all?"The wise DP ", The intelligent SS," The humorous J" The wittyR" The motorcrazyKT, the eccentric KS, the bearded J, kid of the block MG, Jim Courier fan AB, The didi K, Coimbatore guy A, the PJ King RS, PJ Queen SM, the idli eater N, The friend of all BP,,,, where are you all?I miss you, The film director, J, The crazy as hell SR, the intellectual JT, Friendly AT, The senior M and the old man D
As Ella Fitzgerald sang, every time we say goodbye, we die a little. This is, of course, better than dying altogether, which may explain why there is sweetness even in sorrow. Juliet's lament about her separation from her very new acquaintance was enhanced by the thought that it would be temporary: that she would see Romeo again. In song and story, life goes on, even if something is missing.
Real life, however, offers no such certainties. In a here-today, gone-tomorrow world, there is a certain satisfaction in having existed at all. The exuberant joy of being is tempered by the wistful knowledge that nothing is forever. The Romans had a phrase for it: ave atque vale, hail and farewell. Psychological literature is rich in studies of separation anxiety, grief and loss. There is a denial phase to grief in which the bereaved believe that the lost one will come back. Then after a while, this denial gives way to anger, fear, guilt and depression. Loss of energy, fatigue, headaches and chest pains may occur before the inevitable adjustment.
Parting, neuropsychologists say, is a stretching of emotional bonds: the sorrow is tinged with the sweetness of the memories.So wrote Tim Radford on the Gaurdian's blog.
Today AN, TT and me three of us went and supped at Sharvana Bhawan, sarvana is how I say it and the memories came flooding by. Torrent of memories blanked away,,, the beach , salty air, mallippoo (jasmine) fragrance, friendships formed for life...., the giant waves, starry nights jarred with blaring songs, peanuts and tumblers of sugary sweet coffee,,, roaring waves, the air pervaded with the smell of fish, obnoxious yes but not if you ventured further, teh grains of sand brushing against your feet and the waves gliding up to kiss them, sometimes hiting on a rare shell , the horses and most of all samll children who ran with the wind.
Where are you all?"The wise DP ", The intelligent SS," The humorous J" The wittyR" The motorcrazyKT, the eccentric KS, the bearded J, kid of the block MG, Jim Courier fan AB, The didi K, Coimbatore guy A, the PJ King RS, PJ Queen SM, the idli eater N, The friend of all BP,,,, where are you all?I miss you, The film director, J, The crazy as hell SR, the intellectual JT, Friendly AT, The senior M and the old man D
